


You can punch me

by beeseven



Category: GOT7
Genre: Idiots in Love, Light Bondage, M/M, Mutual Pining, character: yarms, it's not graphic tho, jinyoung and youngjae are brothers here, not even close to that, not the enemies to lovers i wanted, some violence i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:47:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25887568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beeseven/pseuds/beeseven
Summary: “Can you put autotune on instruments to make it sound funny or really good? I never thought about that,”“Yes, I can and you would need it. Just leave, I don’t like working with someone looking over it and you stink,”Youngjae laughs and then he is putting his armpits over Jaebeom’s face, “are you sure I do, Jaebeommie?”Jaebeom panics with his arms so close to his face and pushes him, then he is messing up the mixer and it’s just too much for Jaebeom. Youngjae looks fucking good, and no he doesn’t stink, he smells fucking good too. But now he will have to fix the mess Youngjae just did and it’s turning him on even more.
Relationships: Choi Youngjae/Im Jaebum | JB
Comments: 12
Kudos: 56





	You can punch me

**Author's Note:**

> \- there is a talk about choking, but it doesn't happen on the fic still id like to warn everyone  
> \- enjoyy :D

When Youngjae laughed there wasn’t a single person that was immune to it. Jaebeom wasn’t that different, no matter what he was doing whenever Youngjae laughed he would hear it and it would have an effect on him. The only small difference is that while everyone loved it and couldn’t help laughing with Youngjae, Jaebeom hated the sound more than anything. It was just so loud and obnoxious, it was also long, it was like Youngjae would laugh forever. Jaebeom just wanted him to be quiet once in a while. 

Most of the time Jaebeom would just ignore him, but right now he was taking a nap and woke up startled by the loud noise coming from the living room. Jaebeom tries to ignore it the best he can, first he calms his heart that seemed like it was going to break free at any moment. Then he tries to convince himself that Youngjae didn’t do it on purpose, so he slowly closes his eyes again trying to fall asleep.

But as if Youngjae’s body could sense when Jaebeom was about to sleep, the ‘hahahahaha’ started again. Nothing in hell could be this funny, but just about anything was enough to make the younger boy laugh like that. Soon Jaebeom can hear Mark’s soft giggles as well and that’s enough for him to just give up on sleeping altogether. He walks to the living room, finding Mark and Youngjae watching some video on a cellphone. 

Jaebeom rolls his eyes at them. He notices the fried chicken on the coffee table, it’s his favorite. He squeezes his body between Mark and Youngjae, stuffing his mouth with more pieces of chicken than he can count. It’s enough for his bad mood to go away, the crunchy accompanied by the juicy chicken exploding on his mouth. Jaebeom feels like he is in heaven, at least until Youngjae smacks the back of his head hard. 

“This is mine, you starving bastard,” before he can take the bucket away from him, Jaebeom quickly gets out of the couch with it and runs to the kitchen. Youngjae is hot on his tracks smacking Jaebeom nonstop. “Give it back!”

Youngjae’s slaps hurt a lot, Jaebeom pretends they don’t. Whenever they get into a slap competition, as he likes to call it, he is the first one to back off. Every time he will just act as if he is just done with it but it’s because the places where Youngjae hit him hurt a lot while Youngjae doesn’t seem to be in pain at all. At least they only slap each other now. Jaebeom can’t imagine how it would be if they had stuck to punching each other now that Youngjae had bucked up. 

The thing is that Youngjae was the one who gave Jaebeom his first black eye. He couldn’t be over eight at the time and Youngjae had stolen his basketball, but when Jaebeom tried to get it back Youngjae just punched him simply like that. Not like Jaebeom didn’t punch him back, he did and they rolled around on the park’s sand for a long time ‘till Jaebeom’s mom realized what was happening and separated them. 

After that, they kind of became mortal enemies. Sure, Youngjae was too young to understand what it meant at the time but Jaebeom declared so and started to torment the younger boy whenever he had the chance. It would be better if they didn’t hang out together, but for Jaebeom’s misfortune Youngjae was Jinyoung’s brother, and Jinyoung was his best friend. So, Jaebeom saw Youngjae a lot growing up, and he also got punched a lot because of it. 

It was just five years ago when they got into a pretty ugly fight, over some stupid thing, that they were finally stopped. So, maybe it wasn’t so dumb for Youngjae, since Jaebeom had threatened to tell his parents he was playing in a band, but he wasn’t going to do that it was just to try put some senses on him. Either way that night Jaebeom strongly believed he had broken his jaw. 

Jinyoung was so tired of their fights he established they were not allowed to punch each other anymore, slaps and kicks were still okay since it was obvious they wouldn’t just stop fighting. Jaebeom just agreed to it because the other was his best friend and he would always take Youngjae’s side, Jaebeom wasn’t willing to lose his friend. Also because his face hurt like fuck. What Jaebeom didn’t get was why Youngjae accepted the deal. At least at first, soon enough he realized Youngjae knew how to slap someone just fine. 

For the past years, Jaebeom has been enduring Youngjae’s slaps with a laugh, he realized it annoyed the hell out of Youngjae if he acted as if he wasn’t in pain. It was worth it, well, somehow. Just for his first two years of college Jaebeom had been free from the boy, and it was just an out of this world experience. When Youngjae started college as well everything went downhill. 

Jinyoung moved out to live with his brother, but either way, Youngjae was a constant presence in Jaebeom's life. Now he graduated, had a job that consumed his days, and yet he still had to put up with Youngjae. It was ridiculous, Jaebeom would see Youngjae more than he saw Jinyoung. Probably because both of them had full-time jobs while Youngjae would always be glued to Mark, Jaebeom’s roommate. It was hell.

The only good part about it was tormenting Youngjae just like he was used to. Jaebeom didn’t miss having him around laughing like a crazy man, and just being overly annoying and irresponsible. But tormenting Youngjae was something else, just getting on his nerves was rewarding enough. 

Jaebeom will admit it wasn’t so bad anymore, when they were teenagers things were really bad between them. But since they had to stay apart a few years all they do now is tease or prank each other. Of course, they have a lot of arguments but nothing so bad that they would be swearing to never look at each other again. He enjoys having someone to annoy.

So when Youngjae jumps at his back trying to knock him to the floor Jaebeom can’t help the loud laugh that scapes him. He protects the chicken the best he can but Youngjae kicks the back of his knees and Jaebeom falls on top of him making the food fall over his face as well. There wasn’t a lot left. 

“No! Fuck,” Jaebeom yells as he sees the chicken falling. 

“If I can’t have it neither can you,” Youngjae says triumphant, he is breathless though since Jaebeom is crushing him with his body. “Get off now,”

But he doesn’t if anything Jaebeom makes sure he is putting all his weight over Youngjae, fidgeting over him. The boy groans and starts tickling Jaebeom, it makes the other boy feel something funny on his stomach. Jaebeom is trying to turn over him so he can hold Youngjae’s arms when Mark walks into them. 

“You two have any idea how fucking ridiculous you look like? If it was someone else they would think--”

“Shut up! It’s this dickhead with his big mouth that needs to eat everything that he sees. You look like the Cookie Monster, you know? But like with every food,” Youngjae pushes Jaebeom off, getting to his feet while the older boy just sits on the floor looking at Youngjae’s red face. He always gets flushed so easily, it’s the only thing Jaebeom likes about him. He looks cute like this.

“Oh, I have a big mouth? Who is the one that can only speak with high pitched screams? I was sleeping a while ago. You wake me up, you deal with me,” Jaebeom retorts, and Youngjae sticks his tongue at him. He cleans the floor taking the pieces of chicken and throwing them away. He and Youngjae keep bickering at each other ‘till they only hear Mark huffing and going back to the living room. 

Youngjae looks a little guilty and he follows Mark a little after it. Jaebeom fixes something to eat since he is still hungry, but when he goes back to the living room Youngjae hasn’t left yet. It’s almost like he doesn’t have a place to live. Jaebeom loves Mark to death, but Jinyoung moved away to live with Youngjae and now the boy is there all the time. Jinyoung could as well have stayed if Youngjae was going to be always at the place he should have been the one moving in. 

The other boys are talking about something on the same couch they were before, this time Jaebeom sits on the unoccupied one. Youngjae’s eyes find him as soon as Jaebeom walks in but he just ignores it, turning the TV on instead. He doesn’t want to watch anything in particular and Jaebeom could just go to his room but he doesn’t feel like it. 

“So, are you two going out again?” He hears Mark speaking. 

“Yeah, tomorrow actually. Jackson is hm… pretty cool and nice, I guess,” Youngjae says back and Jaebeom does his best to focus on the TV instead of their conversation. He has no idea what is on though, he is just looking at it but all his attention is turned to them. 

“Wow, you sound very excited about it,” Mark laughs, “but for real, man, if you don’t feel like you two are hitting it off don’t keep on going on dates with Jackson he can get very attached to people very fast,”

When Youngjae says they are hitting off and Mark doesn’t need to worry about it Jaebeom just turns off the TV and goes back to his room. He doesn’t know why he is so annoyed, maybe because he got woken by Youngjae’s laugh then he couldn’t eat the chicken, and also tomorrow he will have a long day at the studio again. Jaebeom is very tired and sleep-deprived. Youngjae always makes him feel on edge anyway, as if something is about to happen and Jaebeom has to stay alert. 

Just on the next day when Jaebeom is alone with Mark, he brings up the topic he overheard last night. “So, who is this Jackson guy?”

“Huh?” Mark doesn’t look away from his computer. Jaebeom usually leaves him alone when he is playing. Jaebeom leaves him alone most of the time if he is being honest unless Mark talks to him first he doesn’t try to initiate anything. It’s probably weird that now he is lying on Mark’s bed as he watches the other boy playing. 

“The guy Youngjae is seeing? Who is he?” Jaebeom can see the small smile on Mark’s lips, he doesn’t know what it means. “I’m just worried about him,”

“About Youngjae? If anything we all should gather forces and be worried about Jackson, he is the one that loves literally everyone while with Youngjae you need a ten years old friendship to unlock any kind of proximity,” 

It’s an exaggeration, Mark has only known Youngjae for about three years or so and they are pretty close. But Jaebeom thinks it was somehow lucky because indeed it’s really hard to get Youngjae to trust someone. Jaebeom thinks about the fact that he has known the boy pretty much all his life and he isn’t even sure if the other trusts him. 

“Anyway, he is my friend and he is a good person, you don’t have to worry about your enemy getting a broken heart,” Mark is back to being tense and focused on the game. Jaebeom can’t read him at all, but he is a little grateful for it. He is scared of what Mark might be thinking since it’s pretty obvious that he can read Jaebeom just fine. 

Jaebeom doesn’t think about it any longer, it’s not like Youngjae has never fooled around but he doesn’t think the boy has ever been on dates like this. He was more of a non-commitment kind of person. Still, he tries to pay attention to see if anything it’s different about Youngjae if he looks like he’s in love or something. But nothing changed, Youngjae is still the same, as insufferable as ever. 

He is so busy with work that Jaebeom doesn’t even remember about Youngjae and Jackson, he barely sees Youngjae these days since he spends more time at the studio than at his apartment. Plus he is sure it’s nothing serious. Jaebeom is working on an album that already hit its deadline, the recording was supposed to be ready last week but they still have a lot to do, so going home isn’t an option. 

It’s past one in the morning and the drummer they are working with keeps messing up, Jaebeom knows it isn’t his fault. Well, he thinks it isn’t since they have been here for long hours but they don’t have time for him to step up his game. 

“This ain’t working,” Jaebeom says looking at Helena, the album producer, he has worked with her a few times now. She was the first producer that gave Jaebeom a chance to work on a song, so they have a good relationship. “You need to find someone else, or this album won’t be ready this year.”

“I know, but it’s hard finding someone last minute like this. They need to study the songs and spend hours locked here all week, everyone I contacted was busy,” she says, a little annoyed as they ask for the drummer to start the same song again for the eleventh time. 

They keep trying but it’s obvious that nothing will come out of this, it’s exhausting and Jaebeom wishes he had another option but he doesn’t. He has to help Helena even if it means spending time with Youngjae. “I kinda know someone that might be free,”

“Why didn't you say it before? Are they any good?” Her eyes are shining, Jaebeom can’t do anything but assure her he will call Youngjae in the morning. Because yes, Youngjae is an amazing drummer. He has been playing since they were kids, which was one of the reasons why they fought so much. 

It’s not that Jaebeom had a problem with Youngjae playing the drum, but he would skip school to play when they were young and the people he would hang out with were all fucked up. Youngjae was just so irresponsible about his studies and about pretty much everything in his life, he just wanted to do what he liked to without thinking about the consequences.

It should be just his problem but Jinyoung would always get in trouble for not taking care of him properly, it annoyed the hell out of Jaebeom that Jinyoung was responsible for keeping Youngjae in line. And his best friend didn’t even seem to mind it. 

Once they had to travel for three hours to pick Youngjae up from a bar in another city because he was using a fake ID, and Jinyoung didn’t want his little brother to get in trouble with their parents. Youngjae was high and wasted, but no one said anything to him. It has always been like this, Jinyoung saving Youngjae from everything he did himself. It was amazing, but in an annoying way, that his friend never got tired or even angry at Youngjae. So Jaebeom had to do the job for him. 

If Jinyoung wouldn’t give Youngjae shit for his behavior then Jaebeom would. 

That’s why he was so annoyed to have to admit that Youngjae was good with the drum and that he wasn’t wasting his time like Jaebeom would always say. He was actually doing a good job of it. But he wouldn’t admit it out loud, just for himself. So when he called Youngjae he made sure to let clear that he was their last option and it would be the only time they worked with him. 

Youngjae didn’t even care, as long as he was getting paid, and he was getting well paid. Helena was paying him double for his hours since Youngjae would have to do a lot in little time. The next day Youngjae was there after lunch, Helena loved him and she loved him even more once she saw him playing, it was quite impressive. He has gotten even better in the past years, Jaebeom hasn’t seen him play in a long time. 

Jaebeom was listening to it attentively, not really looking at Youngjae, but when he did he noticed the boy had taken his hoodie off. It was probably too hot having it on once he started playing. What Jaebeom wasn’t expecting was him to be wearing a sleeveless shirt and for his arms to look like _that._ He knows drumming can define one’s muscles and Youngjae’s arms always looked nice but they were never like _that._

Now they looked like Youngjae has been working out every day for the past months as if he’s been playing insanely ‘till he got the perfect muscles. Jaebeom noticed the changes on his body before, but he never had a good look at it. This was sinful.

“Hey!” Helena snaps her finger in front of Jaebeom’s face in order to get his attention. “I told you to ask him to do the chorus again,” 

Jaebeom nods dumbfounded, he was just so fixed on Youngjae’s arms he wasn’t even listening to Helena or to what Youngjae was doing. Once he did as she asked he was back at staring at the boy, Jaebeom forgot completely about the mixer board. Youngjae’s tattoos were shining with sweat, they looked very lickable, Jaebeom’s mouth was watering at the thought, he had to shake his head to make the weird thoughts go away. 

It’s not the first time he found himself feeling things when looking at Youngjae. But they were never like this, this intense. Jaebeom hates it so much, he wants it to stop.

Helenas stayed a little longer but then she had to leave, she trusted Jaebeom enough for him to do the recording by himself. He was glad she left since he was probably going to embarrass himself in front of her really soon, but since she wasn’t there he had to really pay attention to what he was doing. Jaebeom averted his eyes from Youngjae, fixing them on the mixer board and the computer. 

Things went smoothly but out of nowhere Youngjae stopped playing and looked at him through the glass. There was something in his eyes as if he could tell how disturbed Jaebeom was just from his presence. Then he walked to Jaebeom closing the door behind him and sitting at the chair Helena was previously on. 

“I’m tired, that’s enough for today, yeah?” Even Youngjae’s hair was wet from the sweat, it was a hot look on him. Everything was. He rested his head at the back of the chair looking at Jaebeom waiting for an answer. It was very distracting, the way everything about him screamed hot drummer. His face was flushed and he was panting slightly. 

Jaebeom needed to remind himself that this was Youngjae. He always looked like that there was no reason for him to lose his mind now. Youngjae shouldn’t have so much power over him. “Alright, you can leave then,” 

Youngjae leaving was perfect, alone Jaebeom would be able to clear his head and stop having inconvenient thoughts. Also, calm his body down that for some stupid reason was reacting to Youngjae’s proximity. They weren’t even that close, Youngjae and Jaebeom have got into a lot of physical fights. So they have touched each other a lot but now their chairs are next to each other and it’s enough to make Jaebeom’s head spin. 

He is trying really hard to not look at Youngjae’s tattoos and ignore him ‘till he leaves. “I want to see what you do, come on, do some crazy magic there and show me. Can you put autotune on instruments to make it sound funny or really good? I never thought about that,” 

“Yes, I can and you would need it,” Jaebeom says annoyed, “just leave, I don’t like working with someone looking over it and you stink,” 

Youngjae laughs and then he is putting his armpits over Jaebeom’s face, “are you sure I do, Jaebeommie?” 

Jaebeom panics with his arms so close to his face and pushes him, then he is messing up the mixer and it’s just too much for Jaebeom. Youngjae looks fucking good, and no he doesn’t stink, he smells fucking good too. But now he will have to fix the mess Youngjae just did and it’s turning him on even more. “God, I’m working. Stop playing around! I take this shit seriously,”

“What does it mean? I take my shit seriously too,” it makes Jaebeom roll his eyes. Youngjae slaps his shoulder, “why did you roll your eyes? What’s wrong with you? You always treat me like I’m just playing around and not being professional,”

“Because you are always playing around! You need to take things seriously, this is your life,” now Jaebeom is annoyed and that’s better than being turned on. Youngjae doesn’t take anything seriously. He didn’t want to study, his plan was to travel the world playing with his high school friends. His parents needed to threaten him a bunch of different ways for Youngjae to understand that he needed education. 

Jaebeom loved music too but he knew he had to earn money in order to live, needed to think about his future. For Youngjae everything was a game, of course it was when he had Jinyoung to take care of him and to stop him from seeing how hard things really were. 

“I take it seriously! God, you’re such an asshole,” Youngjae starts fixing his things on his backpack so he can leave. “When I was younger I thought you had a problem with people that wanted to do music or anything else that didn’t involve getting a degree. But then you like music too, and you even work with it. You obviously have respect for others, I’m the problem,”

Youngjae isn’t the problem. That’s just stupid. Jaebeom doesn’t have a problem with him being a drummer, but he wishes Youngjae didn’t act like a spoiled kid. Jaebeom really wanted him to think about his future, he acted as if he doesn’t care about the other but he did. It’s not like he wanted Youngjae to fail in life. 

He didn’t know how to say that, his lack of reply was confirmation enough for Youngjae. “You look very stupid looking for reasons to not like me, you know. I’m done with it,”

And just like that Youngjae leaves. Jaebeom isn’t sure what he means by being done with it. He was worried the boy wouldn’t play for the album anymore. But it wasn’t it. Youngjae was done with Jaebeom. He showed up to play every day just like he said he would but he would only talk to Jaebeom if it was necessary and in a professional way. They didn’t sound like they were close at all. 

Not that they have ever been close. Jaebeom didn’t even consider Youngjae his friend, but still, they have known each other their entire lives. Youngjae can’t just start ignoring him like that. It wasn’t even the worst argument they ever had, it barely felt like an argument. But it’s obvious that Youngjae was hurt or at least it seemed like that. 

It should be perfect, Jaebeom has ever wanted to get rid of Youngjae anyway, to not have the other anywhere near him. But the thing is that he didn’t get rid of Youngjae, he is right there every day but he just doesn’t engage with Jaebeom and that’s very different from not being near each other. They can’t go from fighting at every second to this, they had nothing anymore.

And maybe Jaebeom didn’t feel like getting rid of him anymore. 

It seemed like Youngjae was really done with him. Jaebeom tried not to let it bother him, and also tried not to think about all the reasons it shouldn’t bother him in the first place. But every night when he would get home Youngjae was the only thing in his mind. Jaebeom would theorize pretty much everything, like why Youngjae was so mad at him in the first place, how could he make them go back to fight, to how nice it would be if they just stopped fighting but went back to talking. He was taking something good from it, the lack of the stinging slaps. But everything else was awful. 

Soon, though, Jaebeom realized that Youngjae wasn’t so done with him as he seemed to. He was trying to provoke Jaebeom. That was the only explanation the boy could come with to the fact that Youngjae would show up on a tank top every single night. Youngjae wasn’t one to wear it but now it was like they were the only thing on his wardrobe, obviously, it was because he noticed how Jaebeom was looking at him. 

Jaebeom was just so embarrassed that he couldn’t take his eyes off of Youngjae and that he had noticed it, at least he wasn’t using it against Jaebeom. Well, in any other way other than shoving his arms at his face but that he could handle, it was teasing that scared Jaebeom the most. Jaebeom was relieved it would end soon, tonight was the last time Youngjae would have to go to the studio. 

His relief ended the moment Youngjae showed up on a navy blue tank top that was ridiculous, the low side cut allowed Jaebeom to see everything. Really everything. There was a new tattoo on Youngjae’s side and it made him look even hotter. Jaebeom knew he had his mouth open and that he was practically drooling over Youngjae the whole time the boy played. 

It was the final recording, they just needed to do some touch-ups so Jaebeom really needed to direct Youngjae in order to get what they needed. Out of all days, this was the last one he could be distracted like this. If Youngjae wanted war then he would get it. Not that Jaebeom could do much here, and not that he could think of anything at the moment. He just knew he had to get back to Youngjae somehow. 

It was just when they were done and Youngjae was drinking water out of a bottle of water that Jaebeom finally was able to think of something. He ran to the door, locked it, putting the key in his jeans pocket. So, maybe it wasn’t the best way to get back to Youngjae, that wouldn’t be able to disturb him half as much as he has disturbed Jaebeom these past days but Jaebeom couldn’t do much at the time. Not only because he still had to work but because Youngjae seemed to be mad at him, so anything more aggravated would just make things worse. 

Jaebeom pretended to not watch as Youngjae tried to open the door without success, acting as if he was terribly concentrated on the computer. But he wanted to smirk so badly when Youngjae made a pained noise. 

“The stupid door is locked,” he complained angrily. When Jaebeom looked at him he had his arms crossed, they were indecent when flexed like that. Jaebeom wasn’t sure if this was a prank he was pulling on Youngjae or on himself. 

He walked to the door and just pulled it once, “yeah, it seems like that. We need to wait for my manager to come back,” he shrugs going back to his chair. His manager won’t be back today anymore, and he was the one with the key, but Youngjae didn’t need to know that yet. 

“Fuck you, Lim Jaebeom. The door wasn’t locked just a little while ago when I had to use the bathroom, why would it be locked now?” Youngjae isn’t dumb, he will figure out it was Jaebeom doing soon or probably has done it already. Jaebeom didn’t care. He had to stay here for a few more hours, it wouldn’t kill Youngjae to stay too and they would probably go back to talk after it. 

It has always been like this, they would fight, and then the person who had got more hurt or didn’t start the fight had the right to prank the other. It was unsaid but it was their rule. They solved things like that, and sure Youngjae should be the one pranking him but he was too busy ignoring Jaebeom to do that. When Jaebeom thought about that maybe he could consider Youngjae being stupidly hot as some sort of prank. 

“I really want to leave, can you open the damn door?” Youngjae tries again but he doesn’t sound as mad as before. Jaebeom wants him to be mad. 

“Why? Gotta another hot date with your boyfriend?” When Youngjae looks at him as if he has no idea what Jaebeom is talking about he clarifies, “Jackson, Mark’s friend. Ring a bell?”

“Oh, Jackson. Jinyoung is on a date with him right now, I just want to go home before someone says I stink again,” but he is already sitting at the couch at the opposite wall and taking his phone from his pocket. 

“Weren’t you two seeing each other? Isn’t that weird?” Youngjae and Jinyoung were not the kinds to share boyfriends. First, that would be fucking weird, second, they weren’t that weird. 

“I don’t really like him, he is too soft? I guess. But Jinyoung does, I was more than glad when I noticed it and didn’t have to kick Jackson, just introduce him to my brother,” Youngjae explains. “So, now that you’re up to date with my love life, care to unlock the door?”

Jaebeom would, this isn’t as fun as he thought it would be. It’s not fun at all. “Youngjae, I…” he hates having to do. But it seems like things won’t go back to normal if he doesn’t apologize properly. He sits on the couch next to Youngjae, looking down at his hands. “Look, I’m sorry. I really am, not just about the things I said the other day but because of how I’ve always treated you. You’re a good drummer, I think I’m too hung up on things that happened before. But I know you take things seriously now,” 

Youngjae laughs. The sound Jaebeom hates the most in the world doesn’t seem so bad now, even though he is probably laughing at Jaebeom, it’s okay. “You want me to fuck you so bad, Jesus. Just open the door, I’m not mad.”

Jaebeom makes a disgusted face at him but he is not sure it’s as effective as he hoped with the way he can feel his face burning in embarrassment. He might be a little attracted to Youngjae, but he doesn’t want to have sex with him. That’s just stupid. He would never. At least it seems like things are fine between them. So Jaebeom unlocks the door. 

“You want to fuck me,” he says back not feeling too sure this is something they should be joking about. 

“No, you want it,” Youngjae blows him a kiss before leaving. 

“You do,” Jaebeom says to the empty studio. And just like that Jaebeom is back to hating him. This is way better.

Once things go back to normal at work, which means that Jaebeom doesn’t have to spend the nights at the studio anymore he went back to spend more of his days at home. He expected to see Youngjae around a lot but to his surprise, the other wouldn’t come over as much as before. Jaebeom suspected it was because Mark was seeing someone at the moment so they weren’t playing video games that much, or even hanging out. Mark was whipped for whatever girl he was dating. 

His theory was confirmed when Mark exiled him so he could have the place all to himself. Jaebeom wanted to complain but it was really rare for Mark to ask him anything, also it’s not like he was willing to be locked in his room hearing things he most likely wouldn’t like to hear. Jaebeom went to Jinyoung’s place then with the plan of spending the night there. 

In retrospect, he thinks it would have been smarter to call his friend beforehand, but Jinyoung isn’t the type to go out a lot, he is always at home. Jaebeom forgot about the new addition to their lives, Jackson. 

“What are you doing here?” It’s the greeting he receives when his friend opens the door for him. Jinyoung looks stunning, it runs on the family he thinks for a second. “I’m going out, so…”

“No. Come on, Mark kicked me out because his new girlfriend was coming over. Where am I supposed to go?” Jaebeom whines getting in either way. Jinyoung rolls his eyes telling him that that’s not his problem. 

“You can stay here, I don’t care,” Youngjae says from the couch, but he doesn’t even look at Jaebeom. He is on a damn tank top again, so maybe it wasn’t just to mess with Jaebeom, and on shorts too. Now Jaebeom had more things to be distracted by. 

Jinyoung raises his eyebrows at Jaebeom surprised, he would probably have suggested for him to stay but knew Youngjae wouldn’t be happy about it. “Alright, just don’t kill each other before I get home.” He says shrugging. 

Jinyoung goes back to his room to finish getting ready. Jaebeom follows him so they can gossip like old ladies. His friend talks about Jackson nonstop, quite different from the disheartened way Youngjae would speak about the boy. When Jackson gets there to pick Jinyoung up Jaebeom understands why his friend is so whipped. Jackson is really good looking, funny and friendly, he seems to be perfect for Jinyoung. What Jaebeom doesn’t understand is how Youngjae didn’t like him. But he is grateful about that.

Things aren’t even weird between him and Youngjae, Jaebeom thought it would be awkward but they talk as if they are really just friends. Jackson tells him he heard a lot about Jaebeom, but it was from Youngjae and not from Jinyoung. So Youngjae makes them leave already, physically pushing them out of the door. Hu huffs something under his breath that Jaebeom can’t really make out. 

They don’t stay in the living room by themselves for longer than ten seconds. Youngjae says he will be going to his room. It wouldn’t be the first time Jaebeom stays here by himself, he would wait for Jinyoung a lot when they were still at uni and Youngjae wasn’t home as well. But tonight he doesn’t feel like being by himself. He wants Youngjae to stay. 

“Come on, stay here let’s watch a movie or something. What are you doing on this phone?” Jaebeom sits on the couch and Youngjae smirks at him following the boy. 

Youngjae lies on the same couch he is sitting, putting his feet on Jaebeom. “Wanna know what I’m doing, really?” He says in a conspiratory way as if he is doing something big. 

Jaebeom doesn’t care, he turns on the TV and goes through the movie catalog on Netflix. He is looking for some horror movies so Youngjae can scream a little. It never stops being funny. “Whatever,” he mumbles finally. 

“My friend sent me a BDSM test, I’m taking it,” Youngjae says and Jaebeom is sure it’s supposed to sound nonchalant but he can hear the teasing on Youngjae’s voice. “Wanna take it?”

“No, I’m cool. You do that,” Jaebeom says, sitting a little uncomfortable now that he knows what Youngjae is up to right by his side. He tries to pick a movie but all he can hear is Youngjae’s little hums as he scrolls down his phone. Jaebeom clicks the first thing that comes up and hopes for the best. 

One of Youngjae’s feet keeps on making small movements on his lap, Jaebeom has to hold it to make him stop. Youngjae is quiet for a minute but then he goes back to humming. 

Turns out the movie is shitty, Jaebeom doesn’t have a scare jump not even once and Youngjae isn’t even looking at the screen. It’s making Jaebeom so curious he really wants to check over the boy’s phone.

“Are you into some weird-creepy shit like pet kink and don’t want me to find out or you are super boring and don’t want me to find out as well?” Youngjae questions, sitting up with his legs crossed by Jaebeom’s side. 

“What the fuck is a pet kink? No, no, it sounds so weird I don’t wanna know, don’t tell me.” Jaebeom turns his eyes back to the movie so he doesn’t keep them on Youngjae’s thighs. 

“It’s exactly what it sounds like,” Youngjae says laughing lightly. “Let me ask you a few questions, come on, aren’t curious?” 

“No, you are,” he thinks it will be the end of it but no, Youngjae sits more comfortably with a cushion on his lap. And just starts making questions as if Jaebeom had agreed to it. 

There’s a bunch of levels to the answers, from strongly agree to strongly disagree. Jaebeom says he strongly disagrees with everything Youngjae asks. And that earns him a slap, the first one since their fight. Things are back to normal, it feels right. “Stop being an idiot, it’s impossible you aren’t into any of these things. Like what do you do in sex? Just lies there and waits for the dick? Stop being so lame,” 

“No, I don’t just lie there. But those things don’t seem appealing at all,” and Jaebeom isn’t even lying about it. He feared he would find a dark side of him with this but it’s just boring, Jaebeom can’t think he would be aroused by any of these acts. 

“You are just not doing it right,” Youngjae says seriously, Jaebeom laughs because there’s no right way to do that. He just needs to be honest, and being honest he thinks he is pretty vanilla. But then Youngjae is pushing the cushion off of him and placing himself on Jaebeom’s lap, the older boy doesn’t even know how to react. He really wants to push Youngjae off but he can’t move. “You need to envision the situation, imagine yourself with someone you are really attracted to then you say if you are into it or not.”

“I-- still not,” Jaebeom doesn’t even try to think about anyone, Youngjae is sitting on his lap and he is getting aroused really fast by it. He puts his hands on Youngjae’s waist so he can push him off but before he can actually do it Youngjae places one of his hands on his neck. It has no pressure on it, the hand just rests there. “What are you doing,”

“Just imagine it… you have to really imagine,” Youngjae moves so he is sitting right on top of Jaebeom’s half hard dick, he has to close his eyes in order to not moan at the contact. “You are really horny, and you haven’t been able to cum in days. You just want to get off, but I won’t let you. Instead, I play with you, I open you up slowly for hours ‘till you are begging for me to just let you cum, but I again I won’t let you,”

“Hm-hm,” Jaebeom can’t open his eyes, he keeps them closed just listening to Youngjae’s voice. He is sure they are very close because he can feel the other’s breath on his mouth. Jaebeomis hyper-aware of every place their skins touch. 

“I kiss you, and I mark your inner thighs with bites, you can’t stop your tears rolling down your face because it’s too much. When I take pity on you I finally start fucking you, but it’s so slow you are sure you gonna lose your mind,” 

Jaebeom should put a stop to it, but he can see everything Youngjae is describing in his head. It’s like it’s really happening, Jaebeom can imagine perfectly well how it would feel to be slowly fucked by Youngjae. He wants to scream in frustration, but he can’t tell Youngjae to stop, he wants to know what comes next so bad. 

“I have my hand on your throat like this and I start squeezing it, lightly at first but as my pace speeds my hand tightens more and more. You can’t beg anymore, because you’re panting so hard and you’re getting so little oxygen in your lungs it’s impossible to speak.” Youngjae gets even closer and he leaves a wet kiss at the corner of Jaebeom’s mouth.

“Youngjae, please,” Jaebeom doesn’t know what he is asking for, it’s not like they are really having sex and he is about to cum. But right now, he is really hard on his pants and there’s no way Youngjae can’t feel it as well. 

“And then I squeeze harder, you don’t know if you are more desperate to cum or to breathe,” at that he really squeezes Jaebeom’s throat but it only lasts a second. He doesn’t do more than that. “I think that sums it up, you are pretty much into choking, begging, receiving hickeys and edging, at least if it is with me it seems,”

Youngjae moves away from his lap and as soon as he does so Jaebeom opens his eyes in surprise. “What the fuck?” He is embarrassed, yes, but he doesn’t even care about it now. His only goal is to solve the problem in his pants. “Why the hell did you start it if you are not going to finish it?”

“What, do you want me to say ‘then I let you cum’? Then I let you cum, end of the story,” Youngjae gives him a smug smile. And Jaebeom is sure he knows exactly what he did to him. “Oh, you didn’t think I was actually going to fuck you, right? Because like... I wouldn’t do that,”

“You are a little shit,” Jaebeom shakes his head, not believing what just happened. Because Youngjae is a little shit, he knows exactly what buttons to press to make Jaebeom go insane. “You are going to fuck me, you asshole,” 

Jaebeom pushes Youngjae’s body on the couch so he is lying again but this time Jaebeom lies on top of him. It clearly surprises the younger boy, he opens his mouth slightly and Jaebeom takes advantage of it. He kisses Youngjae, sucking the boy’s tongue on his mouth as soon as their lips connect. Maybe it’s because Jaebeom hasn’t kissed anyone in a long time, but it feels like something out of this world. 

“Only if you beg,” Youngjae gasps between kisses, pulling Jaebeom’s hair in a hurtful way, but he doesn’t mind it. That’s when Jaebeom would really like to quick his calf in retaliation, but there are some better ways to give Youngjae what he wants.

He bites Youngjae’s lower lip hard but not enough to make it bleed. “If you want me to beg you’ll have to do better than this,”

That’s enough to bring fire to Youngjae’s eyes. He pushes Jaebeom off of him so they can go to his room, promising he will make him beg just fine between dirty kisses. They kiss for too long against Youngjae’s door, if his plan is making Jaebeom beg he will succeed soon enough because this is just not good enough. 

“Come on--” Jaebeom starts but before he can finish Youngjae is taking Jaebeom’s belt off. He thinks the other will just strip him but instead he tells Jaebeom to turn around. “Why?”

“So I can tie your hands,” Youngjae says simply. Jaebeom almost laughs but he can see Youngjae isn’t joking. 

“No? I’m not gonna let you tie me, what if you let me tied just to be an asshole?” Jaebeom is so turned on his mind is starting to get foggy but not enough for him to trust Youngjae won’t just tie him and leave him like that without even touching him. 

“I-- seriously? It’s fine if you don’t want that but please, I’m into that I’m not trying to fuck with you. I’m trying to fuck you,” but Jaebeom isn’t sure of that. Youngjae has lied to him too many times, this could all be a plan to humiliate him. “Come on, if I do anything stupid you can punch me later. I will just accept my fate,”

Getting permission to punch Youngjae isn’t what makes it for Jaebeom, but the fact that he even offered it. And Jaebeom will be honest he kinda wants to see how it feels after the whole imagining thing they did on the couch. So he turns around without saying anything and puts his hands back to show Youngjae he is fine with it. 

“If you want me to untie you just tell me, and if it’s too tight tell me as well,” Youngjae whispers in his ear, Jaebeom can only nod. The buckle feels cold against his skin and it’s a little tight but Jaebeom doesn’t want it another way. He turns around again once Youngjae is done and the boy proceeds to kiss him. 

Jaebeom wouldn’t need his arms for kissing but it feels different to not be able to hold Youngjae. It’s probably supposed to feel like that. Youngjae gives his neck small kisses, none of them lasting too long. But it’s enough to distract Jaebeom from the hand under his shirt, just until his fingers start playing with his nipple.

“Bet you wanna touch me so badly,” Youngjae says between kisses when he notices Jaebeom moving his body so he can get more contact from Youngjae. And Jaebeom really, really wants to touch him right now. 

“Oh, fuck,” he moans and the kisses become open-mouthed, Youngjae’s mouth it’s just so warm, it’s messing with Jaebeom. 

The boy is moving too slow, it’s slower than Jaebeom imagined it would be, he wants to do something about it but all he can do is buck his hips up. He can feel Youngjae’s teeth on his skin when he does that, the dumbass is smiling at his desperation. 

Jaebeom has been hard for too long for this. He shouldn’t have accepted this. “Okay, please fuck me, Youngjae. I’m begging you,”

“Don’t start begging before I even started it,” Youngjae smiles up at him and then he gives an almost there bite to his throat. Jaebeom didn’t know he could love it so much. 

Youngjae’s hands are under his shirt exploring all over his chest and stomach again. He complains about them being too dumb for not removing Jaebeom’s shirt before tying him up, but Jaebeom doesn’t even care about it when Youngjae finally undoes his jeans. He slides them down to his knees, then he is squeezing Jaebeom’s ass over his underwear. 

Before he just begged because he has no shame and he wanted the other to hurry up, but now Jaebeom really needs it already. He begs Youngjae to just do something, to touch him in any way but the boy just keeps the smug smirk on his face. Youngjae is an ass as he is, but give him power and he will get even worse. 

“Turn around for me, and I’ll give you something you will really like,” so Jaebeom does that eagerly. He is too innocent to think he will finally get dicked down. 

Instead, Youngjae takes his pants all off all the way and does the same with his underwear. He kneels behind Jaebeom, sliding his hands all over Jaebeom’s legs and calves. There’s not much about it but the touches feel like they are way more than just touches, it’s like they are burning Jaebeom’s skin. 

“Hurry up,” he finally complains, getting annoyed. But there’s no answer and he can’t see Youngjae’s face anymore. 

Youngjae spread his legs by tapping them ‘till each one of them are exactly where he wanted them to be. Jaebeom knows what it might mean but either way, he wasn’t ready for when Youngjae squeezes his ass again, and fucking blows over his hole. Jaebeom hates him. 

“Just fuck me, stop playing,” Jaebeom complains again but it’s not effective at all, he is moaning the words and they are barely audible. 

Jaebeom would love to be rimmed, would love for Youngjae to take his time with him but not tonight. Tonight he really just wants to be fucked, and hell he is begging why can’t Youngjae just do as he promised he would. 

Youngjae slaps his ass and any other day Jaebeom would give him so much shit for it, but now it makes his entire body burn. He is trying to hold his body against the door but it’s really hard when his legs feel like jelly. 

“Yeah, yeah, stop whining. I’ll take pity on you this time,” Youngjae promises, and Jaebeom likes the way it sounds like next time he won’t do that. As if there will be a next time. 

And for his luck, Youngjae really takes pity on him. He circles Jaebeom’s waist with one of his arms after he takes off his own clothes, so Jaebeom can trust he won’t melt to the floor. When he looks down at Youngjae’s arm he wishes they were facing each other so he could have a good sight of him. 

Youngjae is biting at his earlobe, it’s probably to distract him from the pain he feels when the boy just slides one finger inside him without much preparation. “Ow, fuck, sorry, sorry. Sorry, I got a little carried away,”

“Well, then pay attention to it or I’ll start thinking you are trying to hurt me,” Jaebeom bites back, the pain is starting to fade away now that Youngjae is slowly massaging him and giving him kisses. 

“Never,” he whispers, and Jaebeom doesn’t know why a single word can do so much with him. He throws his head back resting it on Youngjae’s shoulder, and soon enough he is asking for more. 

It’s good that Youngjae isn’t trying to tease him anymore, he gives Jaebeom more fingers as soon as he says he is ready for it. He seems to be desperate for it too. Youngjae barely fingers him up to three fingers and then he just takes his fingers away. 

“Gonna fuck you now, yeah? You good?” Youngjae’s voice is too hoarse in his ear. Jaebeom tries to nod but he doesn’t want to move, so he whispers a ‘please’, and Youngjae turns him around again. Jaebeom was expecting it to go the other way but this is much better. 

He checks Youngjae up and it’s definitely worth it when his legs give up on him but Youngjae’s arms are around him already. Youngjae looks so good, everything about his body is perfect, they have seen each other naked before but Jaebeom wasn’t attracted to him back then. Now he can’t even believe he gets to look at him when he looks like this. 

“I can hold you, put your legs around me,” Youngjae tells him but it’s like he is only letting Jaebeom know what he will do and not really a request since he is the one taking Jaebeom’s legs off of the ground. Youngjae puts them around his body as he holds Jaebeom with his arms. 

It’s a little difficult to get Youngjae inside him, the boy has to line his dick with Jaebeom and hold him up. So he isn’t able to do it slowly, it’s a little uncomfortable but once Youngjae is all the way inside, their bodies closer than they have ever been, it’s all worth it. 

Youngjae kisses him but doesn’t move at all. They kiss for what feels like an eternity but was probably just one long kiss. When Jaebeom nods at him, Youngjae finally starts to move. And just like he said before it’s painfully slow, he wouldn’t be able to tell Youngjae was moving if he couldn’t feel the tiny shocks in his body. 

“Please, please, yeah? I want you, just you,” Jaebeom doesn’t know what he is saying or why. But it seems to do something because Youngjae’s grip on his waist becomes harder and he is moving Jaebeom’s body off of the door to the same pace he is moving his own hips. 

Jaebeom wishes he had it on him to feel embarrassed about how fast his orgasm is approaching him. But he’s been hard for so long, has wanted to feel Youngjae for even longer that he just can’t care about it. He is pretty close already and Youngjae probably can feel it because he speeds up even more and then he finds Jaebeom’s prostate. 

He hits over the same spot a few times, if Jaebeom’s hands were free he would just jerk himself quickly and end it. But it’s not necessary, Youngjae pinches one of his nipples and it’s enough for Jaebeom’s eyes to roll and for him to just cum all over his shirt. Just then Youngjae touches his dick, he milks Jaebeom to the point it hurts, his hips never stopping thrusting into him.

It’s too much at the same time, Jaebeom thanks God when Youngjae finally cums and just moves a few more times. They attempt to kiss but it’s just them gasping into each other’s mouth for a while. 

As soon as Youngjae’s dick leaves his ass he puts the older boy’s legs back on the ground and they both slide to the floor. Jaebeom thinks he passes out for a few minutes. Next time he opens his eyes Youngjae is sitting him up and taking the belt away from his arms. It really hurts now when Jaebeom tries to move them. He didn’t even realize it was so uncomfortable before. 

“I don’t have anything good for skin irritation, I should get some aloe,” he can hear Youngjae’s voice from somewhere else in the room. The boy comes back to the floor with body lotion and takes Jaebeom's hands on his. He starts rubbing them with the lotion but Jaebeom takes them away quickly. “What’s wrong?”

This is too intimate, Youngjae is massaging his wrists and his arms with lotion sitting very close to him. This is just not what they do, they aren’t nice like this to each other like this. And they definitely don’t have sex with each other, it’s not a thing they should be doing. Youngjae is Jinyoung’s little brother, how could Jaebeom have forgotten about everything that he would always tell himself in order to stay away from him? 

“I should go before Jinyoung comes back,” Jaebeom says slowly, he looks down at his wrists and they will definitely be marked for a few days. Anyone will be able to imagine what he was up to. 

“What? You don’t have to leave because of him, you… what’s the problem?” The way Youngjae sounds legitimately confused makes Jaebeom want to scream at him. But he doesn’t. 

“Youngjae, that was fun. But that was all it is, something fun. We won’t do it again, we don’t have to talk about it and we definitely don’t need to act as if we have some sort of relationship,” Jaebeom didn’t have any time to make up his mind, but he was sure he wouldn’t regret this. The only thing he regrets is given in to the temptation. This was the right thing to do.

Youngjae bites his bottom lip, looking at him for the longest time making Jaebeom feel even more naked. So he just gets up and puts his jeans on, ignoring the belt. He never wants to look at it again. 

“I also think you should leave,” and even though Jaebeom was the one to suggest it first the words sting. But it’s not like he was expecting anything different from Youngjae. 

Jaebeom closes the door softly after him, just to run into Jackson. He freezes. 

“Hey man, oh… someone had hardcore sex,” Jackson laughs, looking at him up and down. So Jaebeom does too, he is perplexed when he sees his shirt stained with dry cum, it’s a black shirt so it’s pretty obvious what it is. Also, his hair must look ruined, Jaebeom didn’t even run his fingers through it. And there are his wrists too. 

“I… most certainly did not,” he denies even though there is no point to it. He thinks he hears Jackson say something about getting him a shirt from Jinyoung’s wardrobe but he can’t hear something like that. 

Jaebeom gets his shoes as fast as he can, putting them on just once he gets into the elevator. He also takes his shirt off and wears it inside out. He would rather look like he wore it the wrong way than showing off dried cum on it. 

He couldn’t go back home so Jaebeom just crashed at the studio, he regretted what he did the moment he looked around and everything at the place made him think about Youngjae. But Jaebeom thought it would go away, it was just because this was the place where he spent a lot of time with Youngjae. Now they had sex he wouldn’t feel so attracted to him anymore, it was done. 

That’s what Jaebeom told himself the first week, then it was obvious for him that whatever he felt about Youngjae wasn’t going anywhere. If anything it was getting worse when added with the fact that he missed having the boy around. Youngjae never went back to his apartment, he knew the problem wasn’t Mark, and Mark also knew that but he never said anything about it to him. He would just give Jaebeom weird looks but that was it. 

It was more obvious to him that he had fucked up. In every possible way. Jaebeom shouldn’t have had sex with Youngjae, because clearly it wouldn’t be just sex when it comes to them. He felt something for Youngjae, he wanted to be with him, not to go back to how things were but to really be with him. He missed everything about the other. 

And Jaebeom wasn’t seeing Jinyoung either, his best friend always helped him when he wasn’t feeling too good. But it wasn’t like Jaebeom could ask for his help with his brother. They hung out a few times but because he didn’t find a way to get away from it. It was awkward though, Jaebeom felt dirty facing him even though he didn’t think he had a reason to. 

But Jinyoung did, he felt like Jaebeom was the worst thing to ever happen to this world. Pure scum. 

He showed up at Jaebeom’s place one night, he didn’t say he was coming over or anything. Jaebeom barely put eyes on him before Jinyoung was punching him on the face. It all happened so fast Jaebeom didn’t have time to prepare himself. He fell but Jinyoung picked him up from the floor by his shirt collar and punched him again. 

Jaebeom could taste blood in his mouth as if the pain wasn’t any indicative that Jinyoung wasn’t playing with him. “What the hell, Jinyoung?” 

His best friend looks like he will kill Jaebeom even if it’s the last thing he does in his life. Jaebeom pushes him and takes a few steps back, he is scared he won’t lie. And he doesn’t want to punch Jinyoung back. 

“You had to fuck him, didn’t you? Out of all the people in the world you had to pick my brother to fuck,” Jinyoung walks closer to him, he has his hands on fists. So Jaebeom takes another step back. “I can’t believe you did that, you’re so fucking disgusting,”

“Hey, that’s enough,” the words barely make any sense, Jaebeom’s jaw hurts like a motherfucker. Jinyoung and Youngjae seem to have a thing for trying to break his jaw. He understands Jinyoung would feel betrayed somehow, but punching him and being this mad doesn’t make any sense. “It happened, okay? I didn’t force him, he wanted it too,”

“Oh, he did, right? Of course, he did, you dick.” Jinyoung breathes in and out for a few seconds before he looks at Jaebeom again, “stay away from him, and fuck stay away from me too. I don’t want to see you ever again,”

“What the fuck, this is all because we fucked?” Maybe he should have told Jinyoung himself, but it was no reason for him to not want to see Jaebeom anymore.

“Don’t play dumb, you have always hated him, but going as far as fucking him just to break his heart? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Jinyoung is yelling so much, Jaebeom thinks he will lose his voice soon. 

“I didn’t break his heart. We just fucked, he was the one that made it awkward,” now Jaebeom knows he is lying. He was the awkward one after they fucked, but Youngjae was the one that disappeared and didn’t want to see him again. So he doesn’t think he is the only one to blame. 

“That’s exactly why I moved out when he started college, I didn’t want him near you.” Jinyoung spits the word at him, and they hurt. Jaebeom suffered when his friend had to move, they have been close since they were little kids, they waited to be able to live together. It was hard on him and now he was acting like he never wanted to live with him in the first place. “I mean, I didn’t want him to keep feeding his dumb crush, but I never thought you would actually use it against him.”

“What crush?” Jaebeom repeats the word slowly. If Jinyoung is implying Youngjae likes him he won’t have it. No, he just won’t. Youngjae was the one that started almost each one of their fights, he was the one that declared he hated Jaebeom for the first time. He started all of this, no way he liked Jaebeom. Jaebeom could now see that he liked Youngjae, but the other way around was impossible. “I’m sorry but your brother doesn’t have a crush on me,”

“And what would you know, right? You’re so innocent, so pure, how would you be able to tell?” Jinyoung looks so angry and disappointed, Jaebeom wants to apologize even though he didn’t do anything. “Whatever. Just don’t come near us again. Let Youngjae be,”

Jinyoung leaves Jaebeom dumbfounded not knowing what to say, not that he would have time to say anything. They don’t see each other after it, Jaebeom wasn’t just playing with Youngjae but he can’t look for him or for Jinyoung. How can he explain that he didn’t know, but yet ran away from him as soon as they were done with sex? He knows what it looks like, and he knows he hurt Youngjae even if he didn’t intend to. 

But it wasn’t like he would just give up on having Jinyoung in his life. They were like brothers. As for Youngjae, he didn’t have much hope. Or any hope really. 

Jaebeom had a lot of free time on his hands to think, and he filled all of it with thoughts with Youngjae. It still didn’t make sense that Youngjae would like him, he thought it over and over and there was nothing for him to even be suspicious about. But he could look back and see the exact moments he started falling for the younger boy.

He hoped Jinyoung didn’t tell him about Youngjae’s feelings, now he feels like he missed his only opportunity. No, Jaebeom never had a crush on Youngjae when they were growing up. He wasn’t in love with him his entire life, but for the past three years, things sort of shifted between them. Jaebeom was just too dumb to realize what he was feeling exactly. Now it was so clear to him that he was mad about the other, that it was the only explanation as to why he always looked for ways to get his attention. 

But really Jaebeom wasn’t going to make everything worse by trying to talk to Youngjae. Maybe it was his turn to love him and not get anything in return. 

Jaebeom didn’t have to do anything in order to see Youngjae again though. He had a schedule with Helena again and was surprised to see her and Youngjae waiting for him when he got to the studio. She said she loved Youngjae’s work and wanted to work with him from now on. Jaebeom cursed internally, he couldn’t be working with Youngjae so often now that he finally realized he was in love but was too late for it. 

Helena notices he is being weird, she suggests they keep going another day but Jaebeom would rather they finish it already. As soon as she leaves the studio Jaebeom is walking to the room Youngjae is playing. He locks the door after him, Youngjae stops playing, looking at him angrily. 

“Again? Seriously? Now you're gonna apologize, say you didn’t mean it, and hope things go back to how they were before?” Youngjae tries to mock him but it’s pretty clear that he isn’t being playful. 

But it isn’t like the last time, they are in the recording room this time and Youngjae can unlock the door whenever he wants and just leave. “No. I just… I miss you and I’m in love with you,”

“Are you fucking with me? Why the hell would you say that to me?” Youngjae tries to walk away from the room, but Jaebeom holds his arm. Maybe he won’t let Youngjae walk away like he thought he would. 

“I’m not fucking with you. I love you, Youngjae. You don’t have to forgive me, honestly, I was a dick when I left your room that night but I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was confused and scared I had fucked up, you have every right to be angry at me I just needed to say that. To get it off of my chest, I’m in love with you, Youngjae.” 

“Oh, do you feel better now that you said it? Cute. I don’t love you though, I don’t like you at all. Now can we go back to work, I have shit to do after this,” Jaebeom would let this go if Youngjae didn’t have tears in his eyes. He really just wanted to let it out because he didn’t want Youngjae thinking Jaebeom just wanted to hurt him. But seeing Youngjae on the verge of tears and ignoring it wasn’t an option, not even when they were kids and would roll in the mud punching each other’s face he would ignore Youngjae’s crying. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you. You can punch me, punch me and we will be even, yeah? Give me your best punch, do it,” Jaebeom pleads and a single tear rolls down Youngjae’s face. He doesn’t know what to do or how to make it stop. 

He pulls Youngjae slightly so he can push Jaebeom off if he doesn’t want the contact but Youngjae lets himself be hugged. The younger boy just sniffles on his chest and Jaebeom hates himself for being the motive behind his sadness. “If I punch you we won’t be even.”

“How could we be even then?” Jaebeom asks, patting his head with tenderness. 

Youngjae looks up at him, he is pouting, it’s the cutest thing Jaebeom has ever seen in his life. “I will punch your fucking heart if you’re lying to me. If you don’t love me, I will--”

“You don’t have to worry about it, ever. I want to make you happy, I want to be with you. I love you, Youngjae. Love you so much,” Jaebeom kisses his face, Youngjae doesn’t even complain about it. He lets Jaebeom kiss his cheeks as much as he wants even though there are no tears for him to dry. “Won’t hurt you again, if I do I don’t know you can punch me for the rest of our lives, ‘till we are old men living in a nursing home,”

Youngjae cringes his nose at him at the idea, “I’m not going to live in the same nursing house as you,” but he doesn’t look annoyed. He smiles, it’s not the laugh Jaebeom wanted to hear so bad but it’s enough for now. “I kinda feel that way about you too,”

“I know your stupid brother told me already,” and now they both make a disgusted face. “Let’s not fight anymore,”

They do though. They kiss and the moment they part away they start blaming each other about how long it took for them to be together. It’s just banter at first but soon enough their voices are starting to get louder. This time they didn’t end it with slaps though, they ended it with another stain on Jaebeom’s shirt.

**Author's Note:**

> \- this is my 20th fic.. since 2017 gjvhnfcskd im so... i wish i could post more stories but anyways my 20th baby so i hope it was good reading it !!!!  
> \- promise i'll write not so dumb jaebeom in the future let's go :DDD  
> \- if you want to feel something good/instant joy look for 'kittisaurus' on youtube im just saying it bc it makes me very happy maybe someone will feel reinvigorated by it too


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